


The Regalia's New Paint Job

by Seeka



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Color, Drabblish, Funny, Gen, Humor, Painting, Silly, Trolling, evulz, poor Regalia, troll Noctis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9302474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seeka/pseuds/Seeka
Summary: Taking the Regalia in for tune-ups, Noctis mentions getting it painted. Immediately, he regrets it.But not for long.





	

 

“So, Noct, we taking the Regalia in for a tune-up?” Prompto had noticed they’d been driving in the direction of Leide for a while.

“Yeah. I also thought with all the ores and crystals we’ve been collecting, I thought the Regalia deserved a new coat of paint.” Noctis answered, thinking of how damaged the car had become, and how it deserved a new look.

They entered Leide through the exit that led into Galdin Quay. Sea breezes flew through their hair, but it wouldn’t last before they were greeted by the dry, corpse winds of the desert.

“So you plan on paintin’ the Regalia?” Gladiolus rang in from the back seat.

Noctis was getting excited. “Yeah! What colors do you guys think I should paint it?”

“Oh, oh, oooohhh!” Prompto was the first with a suggestion to come to mind, “Why not go with a dreamsicle orange? Or sky blue? Something you’d see in posters! Or in car mags!”

Noctis thought for moment. Sky blue actually seemed appealing. The dreamsicle orange brought grotesque feeling to the pit of his stomach. Though maybe he wasn’t properly imagining dreamsicle orange.

Ignis probably shared the same repulsion about the dreamsicle orange, from Noctis’ momentary glances in the rearview mirror. Or maybe the entire idea of repainting the Regalia left an unpleasant taste in his mouth, worse than Prompto’s and Noctis’ combined efforts at cooking.

“I’m partial to shades and hues of white, grey, and black myself.” Ignis spoke up, immediately trying to upheave Prompto’s influence. “They all have a certain majesty to them. Though Noct, you may prefer black, because the stains could be more easily hidden, and I wouldn’t be so embarrassed when we ride into town with a dirty vehicle.”

  
“Hey! _I wash the car_!” Noctis reminded him. He at least tried to be responsible, and he though the difference between black and the current deep ocean blue almost negligible.

“Actually, the best color for this car would be an utterly badass, blood red. Like the muscle cars back home.” Gladiolus suggested, confident and laid back. Noctis thought that was just like him, and tried to remember if he had ever seen Gladio’s car.  
He had absolutely no doubts it was red.

Ignis has tsked. “Not only do red cars have a higher probability of being in accidents, I find it tasteless. It has no individuality. Everyone has red cars.”

“No they don’t.” 

“Everyone like you.” 

“I think seafoam would be a pretty color!”

“No it wouldn’t.” Ignis and Gladio ganged up on Prompto.

How the hell they made it this far, Noctis would never know. All excitement had drained from him. Regret pitted and balled inside of him.  
He should’ve never had told these three anything about painting the car.

Prompto was trying to mainly argue with photography. Trying. While speaking about how cool it would be to pose with and photograph a color not ordinarily seen on cars, his argument eventually was side-tracked into posing with girls and having them model with car, then eventually devolved into Cindy-related blathering. Ignis main point of argument was the dignity of the Regalia, essentially equating it to the steed of the royal family, and how, in order to keep that dignity, the car should be white, grey, or an easier to clean black. Testosterone poisoning was the main backing behind Gladio’s argument. He thought the car deserved treatment like cars he had seen on race-related media, and one way to do that was to paint it a glorious red. Decals were a new addition to argument, and he seemed fine with blue as a color as well, but it would’ve never been as badass as red.

‘ _None of us wear seatbelts. All it takes for me is to speed up, go offroad, and drive into a rock_.’ Noctis thought cynically, turning up the music, hoping to drown out the other three.

All Noctis himself wanted, was a cute green color, reminiscent of Carbuncle. That was what he wanted. 

But, instead, he had to listen to three grown men, or two excluding Prompto, fight about the color the Regalia should be.

“Well if I’m not happy, none of us will be.” Noctis remarked smugly, no one having heard him over the arguing and music. Relief flowed through his tense body as he pulled into the Hammerhead’s gas station. His spontaneous plan of action had been made, and he was going to see it through.

“Hey ya’ll! Bringing her in for a tune-up? I got something special for her.” Cindy greeted, with her usual offerings.

Noctis never knew what these ‘special somethings’ were. However, he could never be as much as a car person as Cindy was, so he trusted her.

“All of that, and a new coat of paint too.” Noctis laughed, though it was more devious than usual.

“Oh what coat are ya after?” Cindy pulled out a few color samples from her back pocket, Noctis making mental notes of his own inventory.

He shifted his body in front of Cindy and the swatches, hiding his choice from the view of his entourage. “This one.” He pointed to a very particular swatch, even placing his finger on it to make a point.

Cindy grimaced. She probably wouldn’t be the only one. “Are you sure about that, Prince Noctis?”

“Yup. Pretty sure.” He didn’t exactly like or loathe the color either way, but it’d bring a smile to his face in other ways. “Actually you know what? Re-upholster it too. And change the rims.”

“Re-upholstering?” Ignis showed distrust.

“Rims?” Gladio continued.

Cindy brought out the other samples, her face growing more unsure with Noctis’ continued choices. “Are you still sure, Prince Noctis?”

“Positive.” Noctis nodded, removing the keys from his back pocket alongside the needed ore, and handed everything over to Cindy. “She’s all yours.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, right now.” Cindy laughed a little troubled laugh, taking the keys. She immediately settled herself in the Regalia, driving it into the garage. She still looked apprehensive, from what moments Noctis saw her face before the garage doors closed after her.

“Re-upholstering and new rims? My, my…” Ignis worried aloud. 

He had all rights to worry.

“No worries. Everything matches.” Actually, Noctis was quite unsure of that, but it didn't matter. It was far too late to matter.

“So… what color did you pick?”

“I bet you it’s red.”

“My money’s on black.”

“Mint blue?” Prompto shakily claimed.

“ _Mint blue_?” Befuddlement from everyone.

“Mint blue, you know? That shade of pastel blue that’s claimed to be mint? But it’s still really pretty.”

Noctis sighed, exasperated. He really couldn't process Prompto’s knowledge for colors and their arbitrary names currently. “Let’s just… go have a bite at the diner.” He felt like he had been dealing with kids all day and had aged ten years. Was this how Ignis felt all the time? No wonder he was the way he was.

“You still haven’t told us the color of the car.” Prompto seemed to be the one most interested in the topic, though he wasn’t pushy. He seemed genuinely interested, like a child.

“Or the reupholstering.”

“Or the wheels.”

There were the pushers.

“It’s all a surprise.” Noctis feigned innocence to the entire situation. ‘And oh, what a surprise it will be.’ But his smug, retaliatory grin said otherwise. 

They took over the diner’s bar, ordering a Hammerhead hot sandwich, soda, and sides of fries. Their conversation was light, mostly about the marriage and other usual adventure related objectives, however it very quickly veered back to the car, much to Noctis’ dismay and delight.

Takka had decided to say something though it was more related to their quests. “You know boys, I trust you all undoubtingly.”

‘ _Gods **no**_.’ Noctis could already see it now.

They were to trek all the way across Lucis in its entire existence, to find some idiot had abandoned his truck after being attacked by bugs.

Or they were going to trek all the way across Lucis in its entire existence, to kill some feral angry beast that had an overpowering chance of splattering them underfoot.

Noctis just knew they had to trek across Lucis for no good reason other than to supply Takka with goods.

 _‘Nope, nope, nope. Not today Takka.’_ Noctis was already trying to inconspicuously remove himself from his barstool which was a difficult task.

“Hey boys! She’s all ready for ya!” Cindy politely informed the group from the entrance before sprinting back out, presumably for the grand unveiling.

“See you later Takka!” Noctis had already jumped from his seat, rushing out, almost leaving a dust outline of his body like a cartoon. ‘ _I have never been so thankful for anything in my life_.’

First to arrive, the others soon followed, gathering behind Noctis as they awaited for the unveiling.

“What do you think the color is gonna be?” The lastlast time Prompto got to ask that question, at least for a while.

“It’s going to be black.” It was said as if it were a fact.

“Red. With or without a full-body decal.”

Noctis’ left eye twitched uncontrollably. He had no regrets with his color choice now.

Up rose the garage, out rode the Regalia, and then all the jaws dropped.

“Tada!” Cindy hung her out of the window, showgirling the Regalia in her new coat of paint.

“What-“

“The-“

“Fuck, Noctis?” Gladio had to be the one to finished the question. No one else could get across the rage of burning, unanswered questions like him.

Noctis at first snickered, but he couldn’t keep himself in control and went into a full belly laugh. Everyone’s faces were just too priceless. Prompto’s jaw hitting the concrete, Ignis’ trying to express himself but releasing nothing but babble, and Gladio just clenching and unclenching his fists and growling in a low tone.

In front of them all, was the Regalia…

…

… wearing a brilliant new coat of bright, vivid, hot pink paint, reupholstered in soft orchid pink, and even more ridiculously, pink rims.

“Seriously? This?” Gladio was shocked. He only seemed to approach the car to see if he was still in reality.

Noctis felt quite arrogant. “I quite like it myself.”

Cindy stepped out of the car awkwardly, hearing nothing but the patrons of Hammerhead establishments, desert wind, and Ignis’ mindless. “Okay, well, I better be getting’ back to rest of my work…” Cindy walked backwards, watching the scene unfold, before closing the garage door, too afraid to think of leaving.

Cid managed to lean up from his garage-side chair, to take in the full disaster that was the Regalia’s new color. “Back in my day, a man would never do that to car,” he sighed, resettling, not feeling as weird as his granddaughter had by the entire situation, “but I guess these modern times are different circumstances. But man, you can spot that thing from miles away.”

“This is what you have chosen, Your Highness?” Ignis’ voice was breaking, and he was apparently so shaken with this choice he reverted into calling Noctis ‘Highness’.

‘ _Good_.’ Noctis had the sudden urge to laugh like an evil supervillain. This felt good. This pettiness.

Prompto easily picked his jaw up off the concrete, and was able to approach the car in a cool and calm manner, examining the entirety of it. “You know, I kind of like it. Shows that we’re comfortable and confident with ourselves.” Prompto pulled his camer out from his pocket, and began to take pictures of his new model. “Plus it stands out! No else has a hot pink car! It’ll look cool in sunsets too!”

Noctis opened the driver door, sliding into the seat. The smell of new leather infiltrated his nostrils. “Glad someone likes my taste.”

Gladiolus and Ignis watched indignantly as Prompto slid in beside Noctis. “We’re leaving?”

“Mhm.” Noctis answered, watching as Prompto hooked up his phone to the auxiliary audio.

“Now?”

“Yup.” Nonchalant.

“Really?”

Now they were definitely acting like children. “Yes.” He rapped his fingers against the Regalia’s new orchid pink driver’s wheel. “We can do this all day, but you eventually have to get into the car sometime.”

“But-”

“It’s pink.” Gladio’s voice was blunt.

“And…? Pink is just a color.”

Gladiolus was still clenching and unclenching his fists, but now added teeth grinding to his list oof activities. Ignis was still trying to recompose himself, trying to find his own dignity and pride again.

“Don’t feel comfortable with such a bright, beautiful, feminine color?”

“That’s not exactly the problem-” Ignis tried to wiggle his way out of it.

“Actually no, that’s exactly the problem.” Gladio cut-in, his voice angered and powerful.

Noctis shrugged. “It’s my choice and you both will deal.”

“Come on already!” Prompto urged, “I bet the car looks great with the sunset in Lestallum! Oh or the Galdin Quay!” Prompto had easily adapted to change, however it seemed Ignis and Gladiolus were far more set in their ways.

“Well, it could be seen as a compromise between what everyone wants.” Noctis suggested, rubbing the side of the car, “Pink is a mixture of red and white, and it has a lot of personality.” Noctis mocked their words in his tone.

They sighed out of pure desperation and mental fatigue. They admitted to their defeat, gracelessly entering the backseat.

“Still the most hideous and tasteless thing I had ever seen.”

“This is gonna get us a bunch of negative attention.”

“This. This is my new favorite color.” Ignis and Gladio on a tightrope? Best experience ever.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this silly little drabble, inspired by the true in-game fact you can paint your car Barbiemobile pink, and what actual actions should transpire after.
> 
> Yes, I did paint my car hot pink. It was fun.
> 
> This fanfic also works off the idea that the guys are least macho enough to feel uncomfortable with pink or think they knew Noctis enough to think he wouldn't seriously pick pink. Though I think Ignis' feeling are more aligned with his dignity than his masculinity.


End file.
